WAMC, Chartog and NPR

•January 2, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I had the great misfortune to listen to an interview on WAMC this afternoon.  For those of you outside of the Hudson Valley, or of a political persuasion other than proudly left of left WAMC is a NPR station that apparently is wholly owned and operated by a clown named Alan Chartock. Wait that’s not exactly true. It, like most NPR stations is owned by an educational institution, in this case SUNY.  Alan Chartock just acts like he owns it and he certainly does lord over it as his personal fiefdom complete with a  160K sinecure.chatock1

This afternoon Chartock was interviewing John Stanmeyer a national geographic photographer and Berkshire’s resident.  Stanmeyer seemed like and interesting gentleman, world traveler, photographer, gallery owner. Chartock ignoring any other obvious angles for interviewing him decided to blaze new ground. He grilled him about how much he gets paid!, Yes you read that correctly. He spent a good portion of his time trying to get his guest on a radio interview to tell him how much he makes and to use Chartock’s unspeakably rude phrase “how he had come to be so affluent”.  Now, please don’t be misguided by Chartock’s behavior. This isn’t a one time thing or an aberration. Chartock regularly grills his guests about their sources of income and gross pay because, to quote him again “he’s curious about these things”. Al Chartock has taken envy to new heights as he monopolizes WAMC’s airwaves. Like most narcissists Al is blissfully self obsessed, he has appointed himself executive producer or every show on WAMC (I suspect he gets to draw a fee while doing nothing),  and converted AMC’s call in program Vox Pop into his personal medical consultation by having an endless series of medical specialists as guests who he interviews seemingly with no guidance other than his own fears about his failing health.

If you ever have the good fortune to drive through the Hudson Valley take a few minutes and tune in WAMC on the left side of the dial. The odds are good that you will hear Al’s tremulous bleating at almost any hour of the day or night. The station is a personal beacon of Chartock’s ego. He is the morning political commentor. He is the afternoon talk show host. He is the drive time political commentator. He reads the pleas for funding. (to cover his ridiculous salary). He phones in to ensure the on air conversation starts never strays away from his sadly predictable political agenda. To make this frighteningly two dimensional character’s tenure as the mouthpiece for government funded radio even more interesting is the wave of rumors that have surfaced on blogs about Chartock’s sexual harrasment of an employee that happens to be married to another employee.  It’s just rumor folks and the rumor say that a settlement (pronounced “payoff”) was worked out to silence an o so typical scandal for a devoutly liberal organization.  I’ve listened to AMC for years and spent so many hours being educated in AL Chartock’s personality that I feel I could predict this fool’s next sentence. The idea of him harrassing his staff not only fits it fits like a condom.

So Happy New Year to WAMC and the cult of Al Chartock a man whose face was made for radio……………..

Copyright 2014 Brad Morrison

Christmas 2013

•December 25, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Here is my Christmas post from years past

What follows is a note I left under a friend’s Christmas tree last year.

————————————————————–   ———-hi—————–

I am Santa Claus! I am tracked by Norad. I keep a stable of ungulates that fly with no help from Laplanders or scientists. I repeat, I am Santa Claus!! I like fat chicks and ordering around little people. It’s a constant battle between those little fuckers and me. I enslave them, they retaliate by being Merry. I kick their lazy little asses and pray that next year the pop trend in China will be the “Pet Boulder”. They get back at me by learning to giggle the complete Peter, Paul and Mary catalog in four part harmony.

I am magic. I walk through walls and soar across the sky. My bathroom habits are abysmal. I’ve got a fuckin’ list and believe you me, you are on it. I’m convinced you are very, very bad unless of course that’s what you want and then I know you are good and I will not give your “special friend” that riding crop you’ve wanted her to wield all these years. It’s hard to believe but I am a mean drunk and hilarious when stoned. I’ m rarely drunk and perpetually stoned despite the fact that Marijuana is not indiginous to the North Pole and everyone knows that there is no weed delivery if you don’t live in Brooklyn or below 14th St. . Does this surprise you? I am, after all, Santa Claus.  Do you really believe that one of this job’s requirements is sobriety? For God’s sake Eggnog is an everyday breakfast drink in my house!

Don’t ever question my existence because I am Santa Claus. I am who I am because I am the sum of millions of tiny thoughts and actions common to every adult. A passing smile at an excited child, a knowing glance that passes between two mothers, a gentle white lie told with complete sincerity are all clues that prove that I live. So as you tiptoe across a room to hide a gift for a loved one or quietly take note of a friend’s comment about a desired object realize that in that moment YOU are Santa Claus.  So that’s it friends we are all Santa Claus so remember don’t give those  nasty little munchkins a break ’cause if they don’ t do the work where the hell will we all be?

Signed

Are you an idiot? You haven’t figured it out by now? DO I HAVE TO ACTUALLY WRITE IT OUT.OK HERE GOES FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE HARD OF THINKING!!S…A…N…T…A..Merry Christmas!

———————————————————————————————-

Copyright Brad Morrison/ BillikenMedia 2012/2011/2010/2009

Bill Clinton’s arrogance and Led Zeppelin’s Moral Acendency

•May 7, 2013 • 3 Comments

I’ll start by mentioning that I saw Led Zeppelin at Madison Square garden for two of the three nights during the Song Remains the same. Oh la, ain’t I cool. They were good, almost great. John Paul Jones and John Bonham were the voice of the Norse Gods. Page was in top form and Plant couldn’t hit the high notes. Those shows were Led Zeppelin in their prime. What most of the later generations of music fans don’t seem to understand is that Led Zeppelin was just another band. They were not the Beatles. They were not the beginning and end of rock. I have seen hundreds of rock shows. Led Zeppelin was just another band, in fact, they stole every song they recorded.

Today’s headlines has the humiliating news that ex President (thank the lord for that) Bill Clinton attempting to step in to use his “influence” to pressure Led Zeppelin to reunite to play a benefit to aid the victims of hurricane Sandy.  The band said no. I imagine, and I have a strong reality based imagination, that the band laughed themselves silly. Bill Clinton is not cool. He has never been cool. Well, he may have been considered cool by legions of nerds and mainstream Americans that are, in themselves, not in any way cool. Bill Clinton isn’t cool. His supporters aren’t cool and in many ways Led Zeppelin is no longer cool.

The more interesting point is Bill Clinton’s inability to accept that the proper thing for an ex President to do is fade into the background. Since he is a rampant narcissist he naturally assumes that in addition to exporting all the jobs in America, bringing peace to the middle east and finally making Serbs and Croats love each other he will remake Rock history. It needs to be said, Bill Clinton is a putz. He has never been cool, he never will be cool and his taste in music is just one of the many confirmations of this fact. Unfortunately, being a NARCICIST he suffers from a complete inability to be self reflective.  Now we, the American people, are going to suffer as we watch him continue to cheapen the real perception of the American Presidency.  The mystique and tangible respect of the position of the President of the Republic of America is the product of 216 years of work by American Presidents.  Sadly a man with as little substance as Bill Clinton will pour part of this important faith and respect down the drain in an effort to prove to himself that he is still the center of the universe.

There is no question that politician are, as a class, narcissists. But there is ego and there is narcissism. They are not the same thing.  Bill Clinton’s flaws run deep, frighteningly deep. One of the great unanswered questions of recent political history is why Bill Clinton’s impeachment trial was conducted in secrecy. What dreadful things was the Senate hiding from us? The question, when viewed against one of the most scandal plagued administrations ever to control the White House. The possible answers are all bad, really truly, bad in ways that effect history.  It appears that this man, this ex President, will never willingly leave the stage. His flaws compel him to the limelight and the damage he is doing to America’s respect is real and tangible.  Perhaps America needs to consider a banishment amendment to the constitution…..

©Brad Morrison 2013/Billiken Media

I am Santa Claus….2013

•December 21, 2012 • Leave a Comment

What follows is a note I left under a friend’s Christmas tree last year.

————————————————————–   ———-hi—————–

I am Santa Claus! I am tracked by Norad. I keep a stable of ungulates that fly with no help from Laplanders or scientists. I repeat, I am Santa Claus!! I like fat chicks and ordering around little people. It’s a constant battle between those little fuckers and me. I enslave them, they retaliate by being Merry. I kick their lazy little asses and pray that next year the pop trend in China will be the “Pet Boulder”. They get back at me by learning to giggle the complete Peter, Paul and Mary catalog in four part harmony.

I am magic. I walk through walls and soar across the sky. My bathroom habits are abysmal. I’ve got a fuckin’ list and believe you me, you are on it. I’m convinced you are very, very bad unless of course that’s what you want and then I know you are good and I will not give your “special friend” that riding crop you’ve wanted her to wield all these years. It’s hard to believe but I am a mean drunk and hilarious when stoned. I’ m rarely drunk and perpetually stoned despite the fact that Marijuana is not indiginous to the North Pole and everyone knows that there is no weed delivery if you don’t live in Brooklyn or below 14th St. . Does this surprise you? I am, after all, Santa Claus.  Do you really believe that one of this job’s requirements is sobriety? For God’s sake Eggnog is an everyday breakfast drink in my house!

Don’t ever question my existence because I am Santa Claus. I am who I am because I am the sum of millions of tiny thoughts and actions common to every adult. A passing smile at an excited child, a knowing glance that passes between two mothers, a gentle white lie told with complete sincerity are all clues that prove that I live. So as you tiptoe across a room to hide a gift for a loved one or quietly take note of a friend’s comment about a desired object realize that in that moment YOU are Santa Claus.  So that’s it friends we are all Santa Claus so remember don’t give those  nasty little munchkins a break ’cause if they don’ t do the work where the hell will we all be?

Signed

Are you an idiot? You haven’t figured it out by now? DO I HAVE TO ACTUALLY WRITE IT OUT.OK HERE GOES FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE HARD OF THINKING!!S…A…N…T…A..Merry Christmas!

———————————————————————————————-

Copyright Brad Morrison/ BillikenMedia 2012/2011/2010/2009

Forever stamps and the coming Bankcapolypse

•August 24, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Giddyup! The new nutrition pyramid is coming!

Anyone that has spent any time at all looking at the coming collapse of the insolvent banking system knows that we are on the edge of the final abyss. It has been ranted about, preached about, joked about and researched down to the smallest unit known to mankind. The banks are completely broke. They have purchased the unfettered support of the political class and as a result they have stripped the US of a good portion of its remaining wealth. So that’s the picture as it stands in late August twenty twelve.

The remaining discussion seems to center around the question ” what does a global banking collapse look like?”. Many pundits are haunted by a vision of Mad Max. In this vision we are all fighting over the last few hungry man dinners while those with substantial stashes of gold coins and weapons are occupying stone keeps on the local high ground. This particular fantasy seems to be overpopulated with vaguely threatening outlandishly dressed dwarfs and scantily clad b movie actresses. I hope that the people predicting this future are correct. I am well stocked with trade able midgets. (this restless cache of little people have slowly come to understand the secret motivation behind my lengthy employment options contracts and they are regretting doing business with me) As a hedge against this possible future I have been spending my nights crafting cleaver little raccoon skull masks.  The local woods are almost complete hunted out so the apocalypse must be coming with the fall frost.

There is, of course, another possible outcome to the current economic depression.  I will exercise my genius and call this possibility option “B”.  In this scenario the banks, in collusion with their wholly owned subsidiaries the governments, continue to print fiat currency and unwanted debt in greater and greater quantities. This quickly results in low quality christmas gifts, starving fixed income old people, 83% unemployment and long lines at the lotto kiosk.  [ as an aside I will correct the common misconception that the current state of desperation is the inevitable result of Capitalism. The current state of America is the product of Capitolism, as in Washington DC fucking everything up through cronyism and oppressive taxation, not Capitalism the Karl Marx bogeyman]

I recently witnessed a chilling foreshadowing of the coming Bankcapolypse.  A good friend went to his local Wells Fargo ATM to withdraw $300 from his elderly mother’s account. Surprisingly he did this to provide her with spending cash rather than to buy weed. I am as stunned as you are by this revelation, nonetheless it is true. He typed in his super secret 4 number code, hit the proper keys to mollify the robotic teller and received a small stack of cash. When he arrived home he counted the cash and received a surprise. Instead of 15 twenty dollar bills he had been given 13 twenty dollar bills and two $8 books of forever stamps! He rushed back to the bank’s branch and spoke to the all powerful kid with the tie and office. This kid with the tie and office explained that ” the ATM has been doing that pretty often lately”.  He asked for two twenty dollar bills and offered the two books of stamps in exchange. The kid with tie was too clever for that ruse. He could do arithmetic and as a result knew that $8 plus $8 doesn’t equal forty so he refused.  My friend suspected that the bank, being a bank and all, had other twenty dollar bills cleverly hidden behind the teller’s glass. So he tried again to work out some kind of solution that involved him being given two twenty dollar bills.  The kid with the tie held fast. No, he told him, no way. He would need to file a lengthy form reporting his “story” to the bank’s corporate headquarters. They, he assured him, might make the possible difference up with more stamps.

Now I know, since I am so well read, that most INSTITUTIONS view currency and stamps as the same thing. They are both Tier 1 capital and can be used to secure various things like corporate loans, government borrowing, and the washing on the line. Tier 1 capital is a precious thing. The coming changes in banking regulation which require the banks to have slightly more Tier 1 capital are just over the horizon.  The kid with tie would be crazy and likely guilty of corporate treason if he were to willing turn over two twenty dollar bills in return for $16 dollars of stamps. Yes they are both tangible assets (tangible in that we made it up kind of way) but the bank was $24 dollars ahead in the transaction and this may be the only profit Wells Fargo posts this quarter.  Further he has received the necessary corporate training so he knows that 2013 thru 2016 will be the era when the American population will be transitioning over to an all Forever Stamp diet.  This will solve both the utter insolvency of the banking system, the utter insolvency of the postal service and the lack of nutrition in the current American diet of food. The careful planning of the Postal Service, the Treasury and the Agriculture Dept. will be unveiled.  All of America’s problems will be solved. The new forever stamps will feature images of all the important food groups. Not only will there be meats and grains and fruits they will be images of the highest quality meats and grains and fruits! America will be well fed and lean with nutritional power. The banks will be flush with your deposits converted into their Tier 1 capital and the post office will be refinanced with diverted ATM withdrawals. Everyone wins! Isn’t that what America is really about?

©Brad Morrison/Billiken Media 2012

Hello, I am Santa Claus………….

•December 15, 2010 • 2 Comments

What follows is a note I left under a friend’s Christmas tree last year.

————————————————————————hi—————–

I am Santa Claus! I am tracked by Norad. I keep a stable of ungulates that fly with no help from Laplanders or scientists. I repeat, I am Santa Claus!! I like fat chicks and ordering around little people. It’s a constant battle between those little fuckers and me. I enslave them, they retaliate by being Merry. I kick their lazy little asses and pray that next year the pop trend in China will be the “Pet Boulder”. They get back at me by learning to giggle the complete Peter, Paul and Mary catalog in four part harmony.

I am magic. I walk through walls and soar across the sky. My bathroom habits are abysmal. I’ve got a fuckin’ list and believe you me, you are on it. I’m convinced you are very, very bad unless of course that’s what you want and then I know you are good and I will not give your “special friend” that riding crop you’ve wanted her to wield all these years. It’s hard to believe but I am a mean drunk and hilarious when stoned. I’ m rarely drunk and perpetually stoned despite the fact that Marijuana is not indiginous to the North Pole and everyone knows that there is no weed delivery if you don’t live in Brooklyn or below 14th St. . Does this surprise you? I am, after all, Santa Claus.  Do you really believe that one of this job’s requirements is sobriety? For God’s sake Eggnog is an everyday breakfast drink in my house!

Don’t ever question my existence because I am Santa Claus. I am who I am because I am the sum of millions of tiny thoughts and actions common to every adult. A passing smile at an excited child, a knowing glance that passes between two mothers, a gentle white lie told with complete sincerity are all clues that prove that I live. So as you tiptoe across a room to hide a gift for a loved one or quietly take note of a friend’s comment about a desired object realize that in that moment YOU are Santa Claus.  So that’s it friends we are all Santa Claus so remember don’t give those  nasty little munchkins a break ’cause if they don’ t do the work where the hell will we all be?

Signed

Are you an idiot? You haven’t figured it out by now? DO I HAVE TO ACTUALLY WRITE IT OUT.OK HERE GOES FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE HARD OF THINKING!!S…A…N…T…A..Merry Christmas!

———————————————————————————————-

Copyright Brad Morrison/ BillikenMedia 2012/2011/2010/2009

The coming Coup D’ Etat

•November 1, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Here it is, the night before the midterm elections and it all makes sense. As usual the comfort of deep reading of dusty old histories has brought to this feeling of comfort, of familiarity, of the love of an old pair of shoes, left and right – coup d etat and planned chaos.

Obama, or should I say Barry boy, is circling the wagons and boy is the circle really small. In fact it has shrunk to a solid wall of Secret Service men and, perhaps, his wife and daughter. (Notice I am not counting the dog – Biden. That is his name isn’t it?) Here we go Hillary, 9000 miles away is moving for power. Her husband, her current agent provocateur is blissfully tramping around the country burying elections right and left, well mainly left.

This election, thanks to Alvin the chipmunk Gore, will once again be far from final. The vote rigging, packed voter rolls, electronic hacking of the brand new, federally mandated voting computers, voter intimidation by unionistas will just be the start of an election that is likely to be nullified. Poor us, we are, finally, ready to stand up and say “enough” and here they have settled it all without our noticing since we were so consumed with worrying about the placement of a mosque and the sad fiction of us actually being given something (healthcare) for nothing. (pronounced every damn dime left in circulation)

Friends, Hillary is making her move. Watch her go. Watch it on The View. Watch it in your imagination. Your imagination? Yes, perhaps we all may be cut off from media as it all goes down. When the dust clears, in January, and the election is finally over we will discover that the lame ducks have nailed our coffin shut. I just printed out a list of the current members of Congress. I am posting it next to my 1959 Playboy calendar. I will look at it occasionally to remind myself of the names of the traitors.

Now, a comment to the powerful. Hillary might want to remember that Octavian, later known, as Augustus was not Caesar. He wasn’t second in line. He wasn’t the guy (or girl) that was passed over. He came out of the third string. He was one of the talented partisans that used the chaos of a struggle for power to eliminate everyone and leave himself the last man standing. And then, he had talent. Tons, and tons of talent. Does that describe anyone in the current picture?….I thought not…..

Just thought I would mention it all was about to come unglued……………………….

 
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